17 April, 2021


I would like to start with a Sufi story called “Another Anecdote About Abu Said Khircani” from the Language of the Birds by Uddin Attar Farid, the former teacher of Rumi, which goes like this:

          “The Schaikh Khircani spoke like this admirable thing in the last moment of her life, when her soul was on her lips, ready to escape:  ‘God would have them open my body and tear out my burned heart, then show my heart to men and explain to them what my difficulties are, so that they would know that the worship of idols is not suitable for the one who knows spiritual secrets. Do not act deviously, then: here is what the service of God consists of; the rest is lust. This service consists of self-denial.  Know it well, oh useless servant! But you put yourself in the place of God, far from serving him; how could you then dedicate yourself to him? Give yourself up and then you will be a true servant; be a selfless servant and live.   Since you want to be a slave of God, be selfless to your service, be ambitious in the way of honor. If the servant dishonors himself on his way, the sovereign will immediately expel him away from his royal tapestry. The sanctuary is forbidden to men without honor; but if you have honor, you will certainly obtain the favor of being admitted to it’."          “

         As in this Sufi story, in which the favor of God must be won, so the love for the father, which in the words of Erich Fromm must be won, unlike that of the mother.   Therefore, as in the narrative, the Enneagram tells us how there could be the different forms of parenthood and the different forms that parenthood consists of through your optics.  Let's start!

          The Enneagram is a science that is part of the internal engineering that we use at the Institute for Harmony and Regeneration of the Being, where the different types of personality are studied. This powerful tool of human development has accompanied humanity since the beginning of time, having its beginnings dated in Lower Chaldea, in Babylon.

          It has been developed by different civilizations, since the Enneagram is thought to be dilutive, this means that it appears when civilization needs it most, and is diluted when humanity does not require it.

          And from the Enneagram we can analyze the different types of Fatherhood, in this case we have 9, starting with:

1)    Perfectionist Fatherhood: It is one that encourages you to get the best of yourself, without failures or mistakes, pushes you to respect your word, to be serious and sensible, It supports you with sincerity and objectivity, being faithful to your conscience and what it is good in the world.

Perfectionist parents will be sensible and tolerant of you, they will teach you morals and what they think is "good" from a rational point of view.

2)    Helper Fatherhood: He will never leave you alone, you will have unconditional and unrestricted support, he will give everything for you and be there when you need him most, he is the special friend you always dreamed of in a person who will allow you all the love in the world.

Helper parents are all affectionate, generous humanitarians, with the firm conviction of being considered good and attentive, and kindness and compassion are one of their most present elements.

3)    Successful Fatherhood: It will motivate you to be the best in any field, to meet your goals, to be the role model no matter what your area is, it will make you stand out from the group, community, group, or whatever the field of action , it will make you stand out to be the "best".

Successful parents will show you the admiration, the desirable, and the value of the attractive.  They will make you stand out from the crowd, as well as make you project balance and effectiveness.  Finally, they will show us the "unlimited capacity" of their personality.

4)    Artistic Fatherhood: It makes you feel special, unique.  It is that father who has no comparison with any other on the planet.  With his particular stamp, it is the one that will make you feel independent and focus on yourself, to see for yourself.  It is a Fatherhood type that is more creative-- with the most interesting and romantic ideas out there.

Artistic parents are the most sensitive, different, and unique.  They have a self-awareness and are benevolent and intuitive in what they do.  They are also quiet with sincere depth with themselves.

5)    Scientific Fatherhood: The most profound experience of all,  a specialist who will show you the world of detail, will make you go deeper until you reach the origin of the origin, of all things.  He is the avant-garde, the one who will show you the art of observing.  You will study every detail until you understand everything, any and all topics.  He will make you build castles in the air so that you can lay the foundations in the practical world.

Scientific parents are perceptive, clever, and curious, as they investigate everything. They are independent, insightful, and special in everything they do.  They will also be always alert and always objective.

6)    Loyal Fatherhood: This is for life; it will never fail you. You will be and feel the safest.  It is the fatherhood that will guide you as a guardian. It will make you believe in it like no other, and it will make you question everything at once because he will always find the solution to the problem.  He will teach you the traditions that you have to follow and he will be your unconditional friend.

Loyal parents are trustworthy and formal.  In their presence you will observe  them as being pleasant, common, and ordinary souls who are careful in what they do.  They are the best predictors.

7)    Positive Fatherhood: It is the most jovial, playful, and cheerful of all.  It will make you see the positive side of everything and you will never stop smiling in its company, since you will be able to do anything and everything.  There will be no experience that you have not tried, because it will teach you not one or two or three languages, but four! You will never be bored and you will always be on the go without roots growing under your feet.

Positive parents always have the enthusiasm of future freedom, spontaneity, joy, vehemence, and extroversion in their personality.  They have a lot of energy as well as a positive outlook on life.

8)    Leader Fatherhood: The strength, the push, the protection of this fatherhood will make you go beyond your limits.  The push never ends and the energy is unlimited.  It will never stop at anything until it achieves its goal no matter what or who stands in the way on the road. Power and potency are the characteristics of this dominant will to challenge and decide your life.

Leader parents are the strongest, most imposing, and frank of all.  They have a lot of ingenuity and an orientation to action and an infinite tenacity.   In addition, with them, you can experience the robust and independent character of fatherhood in its pure state.

9)    Pacifist Fatherhood: You will feel at peace in his presence, you will feel the tranquility of a glance, of a leisurely chat, and time stops when you reconcile with the utopia of always being or trying to be well and comfortable. You will always find the solution to a conflict and you will feel comfort in his presence.  It is the easy and accommodating thing.  This paternity is all tranquility.

Pacifist parents are the most peaceful, relaxed, and equanimous of all.  In their presence you will feel stable, benevolent, and natural, as they are the most indolent and friendly of all.

       This article is written for IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD.  It is an approach to the types of fatherhood according to the Enneagram of Personality that shows us a glimpse of the fascinating things about observing the virtues that we project on an individual level in our families.   The virtues are projected in “real time” – with a consciousness of the present time – and we are able to transcend this “being to another” through a deep transformation through  conscious suffering within ourselves.   When we realize that we are in the present moment, in the here and now, we can embark upon the path to learning the type of parent we are and accept the type of paternal style we identify with.  Little by little, with a lot of work, we are to be able to change the patterns of the ego that are like a crust that has formed around our essence.

          If you have any doubts, questions, or comments about the different paternities according to the enneagram, you can contact us by sending an e-mail to: or contact us at WHATSAPP at +52(222)171-1908.  You can also visit us on our Facebook page -- @Institute for Harmony and Regeneration of the Being.

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I would like to start with a Sufi story called “Another Anecdote About Abu Said Khircani” from the Language of the Birds by Uddin Attar Fa...