We live in dark times. Our boys are not being given
the proper opportunities for wholesome growth. Many of our boys are not given
proper care and nurturing. What policies or legislation exist to oversee a boy
whose father is incarcerated? Is this boy allowed to visit his father or is he
kept away believing his father would be a bad influence? We cannot criticize a
single mother who is trying her best to raise her son or sons. The question we
need to ask is: How is society helping this single mother to be a better or more successful
parent?
Some of our boys are not being encouraged to improve
themselves. We are not properly equipping our boys with the tools to survive in
a fast-paced world. I know of a father in the United States who, in February
2018, carried his thirteen year old son, on four occasions, to see the Black
Panther movie. The father felt proud of
his efforts. But I can ask: Should that father spend that time more wisely with
his son? Should that father have better used that money, for movie tickets, to
instead purchase books or an educational toy for his teenaged son? Both father
and son could have spent time playing a sport which would have allowed more
communication and interaction. A few persons could argue that attending a movie
is a time for father-son bonding. That sounds like a great answer…but the
questions remains- How could spending time in a dark cinema, with minimal
verbal communication, and watching a fictional movie benefit this son? The
father could have spent that valuable time educating his son about real heroes such as Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Dr. Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., Marcus Garvey, Booker T. Washington, enslaved
Africans who resisted slavery, or real places such as the greatness of Ancient
Egypt. Nobody could dictate or state how
much time would be considered quality time for the upbringing for a son. This
is for a father or parents to decide.
Often society will convey conflicting messages to our
boys and the result is a confused young male. Have we properly engaged in
conversations with our boys? Have we given adequate guidelines to allow our
boys to develop into men who are genuine and can differentiate right from
wrong? Many of our sons are unaware of
their roles and responsibilities. Many boys are unsure of their identity. Some lack the fortitude to resist peer
pressure. A society sending distorted messages to our boys will create a
generation of men who are uncertain and dysfunctional.
Sadly, many of our boys who are improperly socialized are
unable to form healthy relationships with their peers and the rest of society.
Additionally, it is most unfortunate that they are constantly presented with
false models of masculinity which they are unable to resist. For instance, many
boys believe that wearing a certain brand of clothes, shoes, or caps are part of
defining masculinity. Of course the media are guilty of projecting a message
that eating a certain type of food or drink, driving a particular car, living
in a certain community, or being in a certain occupation would make a boy or
young man popular and deemed to be a ‘real’ man. Let us peel away the false layers
of masculinity and reveal the inner essence of true masculinity. We cannot
delay and must act now! Let us rid ourselves of the useless trappings that are
paraded as masculinity.
There are serious scenarios that must be rectified. What
have we done to rescue our boys trapped in illiteracy and poverty? What about
boys who are victims of human trafficking and drug trafficking? How can we help
boys who are the breadwinners in their homes?
There are boys who are unable to attend high school, college, or a university due to poverty. The annual observance of World Day of the Boy Child,
on 16 May, intends to search for solutions to save our boys and girls. We must
shine a light into the dark lives of our boys. We must give them that ray of
hope to live another day.
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