FOURTH ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER FOR MEN AND BOYS TO BE OBSERVED ON 5 NOVEMBER 2017

. . . TRANSCENDING BOUNDARIES . . .

           Each soul is connected to another soul.   On this space and place we occupy and  to which the name “Planet Earth” has been affixed, there exists 7.5 billion souls who are connected to one another. Out of these 7.5 billion souls, approximately 3.6. billion souls are males – Men and Boys  -- Homeless Men and Boys, Incarcerated Men, Married Men, Divorced Men, Single Men; Men who are Fathers, physically and mentally disabled Men and Boys; Men and Boys who live in poverty; Men and Boys who are Christians, Jews, Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus, Buddhists and agnostics; Men and Boys who are poor or rich, educated or uneducated; Men and Boys of diverse ethnicities; and Men and Boys who speak different languages – French, Urdu, Spanish, English, Portugese, Swahili, Xhosa, Arabic, Gaelic, German, Chinese, Russian, Japanese, Italian, Hindi, Bengali, and Punjabi/Lahnda.   The experiences of these souls -- Men and Boys -- are as diverse as their ages, levels of education, socio-economic status, religion, ethnicity, language, and culture. 

As much as there is a “connectedness” between souls, a “uniqueness” exists within each soul.   The diverse ethnicities, religions, cultures, languages, socio-economic status, and day-to-day experiences play a role in the shaping of the “uniqueness” that lies within each soul.   Diversity and “uniqueness” should be embraced and serve as a magnet that draws souls together and not serve as a repellant  that creates a false need to build walls that divide and marginalize and penalize souls who speak differently, look differently, worship differently, or dress differently.  

This false need to build walls that divide . . . to marginalize and penalize souls on the basis of religion, ethnicity, culture, language, and socio-economic status creates a world that is spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically toxic.  When we marginalize and penalize a soul or a group of souls, we are also marginalizing and penalizing a part of ourselves.    We are denying our own uniqueness.  How is it so?  Because each soul is connected to another soul. 

The International Day of Prayer for Men and Boys – Sunday, 5 November 2017  – is a “Call To Action”. 

It is about building bridges of understanding, affirming our “connectedness” to one another, celebrating and embracing diversity, creating a world that is spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically vibrant, and  transcending the  boundaries that divide us.

For information about how individuals, institutions, and organizations can participate in and raise awareness for the Fourth Annual International Day of Prayer on Sunday, 5 November, 2017, contact the International Day of Prayer for Men and Boys Committee at 267-581-3963 or send and e-mail to:  insearchoffatherhood@gmail.com.

PREPARING AND WAITING: JEROME TEELUCKSINGH, Ph.D.

Concerned and callous citizens stare at giant birds bearing rotten eggs and gloom.

The theatrics begin as short-range and long-range missiles clash;

prototypes become alive and take flight.

Nervous leaders await global fall-out, crews clean underground bunkers and silos;
wondering about impact of a megaton,
fearing detonation and ionizing radiation.

Strategic air command prepares for the final countdown and untold damage.

The counterforce and scientists pontificate over satellite image.

Dregs of war
part of the testament of gore.
_____
Jerome Teelucksingh, Ph.D. is a Gender Issues Thought Leader, Founder of International Men's Day (www.imd-global.org) which is observed in 81 nations throughout our global village, faculty member in the History Department at the University of West Indies in Trinidad and Tobago, Contributing Editor to IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD(R), a prolific author and poet.

STORY OF THE BULLET: JEROME TEELUCKSINGH, Ph.D.

See that bloody bullet, it took life from an innocent child;

Blame that bullet for police seizing an innocent gun.

See that bullet, it created widows and widowers;

point fingers at that bullet for making the artist produce sorrowful tones.

Hide from that cruel bullet seeking to destroy a nation’s precious young flowers.

See that bullet chasing an animal in the wild;

run from that bullet, it helped build those premature tombstones.

How we wish the cursed bullet had missed all its targets so the darkness would be replaced by the sun.

___

Jerome Teelucksingh, Ph.D. is a Gender Issues Thought leader, founder of International Men's Day which is observed in 81 nations throughout our global village,  faculty member in the history department of the university of west indies in Trinidad and Tobago, contributing editor to in search of fatherhood(r), a proflic author and poet.

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A PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY LIMPING FATHER TRYING TO RAISE A FAMILY IN A FOREIGN LAND: MR. LETHUKUTHULA NKOMO

"Remember, remember always, that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrants and revolutionists."

Franklin D. Roosevelt

         I worked in big retail shops in South Africa for 10 years. I worked with many young men coming from, or born of parents coming from my country of birth -- Zimbabwe.  Currently, I am working with a young man whose parents hail from my country. He was born in Zimbabwe 23 years ago.  His father is alive but he hasn't met him in person. His father is said to have migrated to the United Kingdom.  Most, if not all, of these young boys I have worked with have one thing in common: they were brought up either by their single mothers or by their grandparents.

          In the early to mid 70s the Black revolutionary parties decided to engage the colonial governments through violent means in the Southern African regions as a way to coerce them to seriously consider their demands for democracy or majority rule/government. Many young people, especially men, were either voluntarily or forcibly conscripted into the armed wings of these movements.  In my country there were mainly two military groups, one under the PF ZAPU and the other under ZANU PF. Many young men in my region were conscripted into ZIPRA, the military wing of the PF ZAPU party.

            Our brothers left school and joined the armed struggle -- some as young as primary school going age. These young people crossed the borders to the neighbouring countries, mainly in Botswana, Zambia, Mozambique, and Namibia. These countries would -- many of whom had already attained their independence -- assist us by offering training bases, assist on training the freedom fighters, and offer logistics for our liberation struggle.  This, therefore, meant that many of our boys would leave the schooling phase forever and miss out on the pillar of self development and self advancement. They would spend up to 10 years in the training bases, especially those who were too young to be soldiers, and would languish in those military bases doing absolutely nothing but singing liberation songs and reciting some political manifestos that meant little or nothing to them.  Regularly, the colonial government forces would send the air force to bomb these places. Many of our brothers and sisters perished in these camps where security was very primitive.  There were no good radars and signal detecting instruments to warn about the imminent enemy’s air or ground attacks.  The intelligence was also weak and primitive.  It meant that these little souls were always caught unawares, with little or no time to hide or react.

          These young boys experienced hell -- saw their friends and relatives blown up to a pulp -- some surviving with no limbs, no hands, or arms; blood and anguish; and the smell of death everywhere  . . . . every time  They were left physically, emotionally and psychologically ruined PERMANENTLY.  There were no psychotherapeutic facilities or systems in place to mend or heal their emotional or psychological damage. These camps were normally located in very remote deep hidden dense forests or mountains, far away from civilization. These young boys, detached from the parental love and care, faced bombs and gun explosions and popping almost every day, and training instructors bucking out at them every time. Those who were too young to be conscripted did the cooking, laundry, shoe polishing, and mending, cleaning and all those chores.

          After a cease fire, these young people, having spent years under the tents in the mountains and forests, having spent years living like wild animals, running for cover every day, had to face another steep mountain to climb -- to be taken back home and be integrated back into civil life which they had unplugged themselves from for quite a long time. Psychologically and emotionally limping back home, some were only to be welcomed by the ashes and charcoal from what used to be their homes . . . some parents having been murdered during the war . . . some of their parents having disappeared in the police cells  and not to be seen again! Now these are the children who have grown to be what we call parents today. These are the fathers who bore these boys we are working with now.

          In 1979, after the cease fire, the two military wings failed to reach an amicable position on the power sharing question and how to properly disengage from war and to demobilize their forces back to civil life.  A civil war ensued in 1983.  The very same young boys left AGAIN, this time running for their lives -- running away from the government of majority's crackdown on those it perceived as a threat to their rule and therefore enemies. The operation was popularly known as Gukurawundi, meaning to sweep away the chaff or dirt. The young men had no option but to jump the borders back to the neighboring countries. Now, this time they would be treated as illegal immigrants in those destination countries.  Many would spend their times working in the foreign lands and hiding after work – many  would spend their time in the police cell, while others would spend months in the repatriation camps waiting to be deported back to where they were running away from.  Many have managed to survive in these painful and difficult conditions in the foreign countries. Many have bonded and created families with the local people. Their children are these boys that we work with. Because of the complexity of life in a foreign land, their children are facing the identity and documentation, xenophobia challenges. Documentation challenges would mean being unable to access some privileges otherwise enjoyed by their peers. No government grants would mean they go to low grade schools and colleges. They have so many questions but little or no answers. Many of these young boys are not well connected to their fathers. When they lose jobs or when they fall ill, some fathers go back home, leaving these innocent but confused and disillusioned souls wondering what happened to their fathers. Many would never see their fathers again. It leaves them paralyzed in their minds -- wondering, questioning, angry, confused, hating, and hurting. These souls will always manifest these feelings through anger and outbursts at work places -- always showing some rebellious tendencies. They are not happy and confident. They are mesmerized.

            Liza Lanovich in her article featured in the 23 January 2015 issue of the Immigration Policy Institute publication had this to say about the “left behind children” or the children who left their home countries alone:

"Left-behind children face numerous adverse effects of parental migration including problems related to school, such as deteriorating academic performance, declining attendance.  Health concerns may arise, including drug use and undermined or deteriorating health, as children with migrant parents may not solicit help when needed. Family stability and future development are also at stake...... Children left behind lack job opportunities and may develop psycho-emotional problems often associated with an inferiority complex. This can lead to youth unemployment and juvenile delinquency.... Left-behind children are also vulnerable to human trafficking and labor exploitation".

          Recently the South African government passed the law that makes it so difficult for a father or mother to migrate back with their children without the signed affidavits with an attached certified ID copy for the other spouse as a proof of mutual consent that the child is free to go. What if the child is in the care of a single parent, maybe after divorce or, after one parent died? Many have hit a snag on this challenge, forcing some parents to leave their children with relatives or friends. The biggest challenge therefore is to reconnect these innocent souls with their psychologically limping fathers who themselves find it so hard to reconfigure themselves with the modern life challenges. These fathers lost their pride, their whole self-being in the training camps, in the war fields, in the civil wars back home – meaning, therefore, that help is needed on both ends. A holistic approach is therefore needed to reconcile these innocent children with their grossly challenged parents, mainly, the migrant fathers. This calls for a serious and urgent intervention from the governments involved to try to work together and reconnect these "stray" innocent souls with  their migrant parents. Otherwise we risk a vicious cycle that would spin out very psychologically and emotionally wounded future parents who would otherwise find solace in substance abuse or find themselves and/or their morally and socially malnourished children in jails or in the mental hospitals. 

FLASH MOBS, ECONOMIC SUSTAINABILITY, RENEWED PROSPERITY, AND THE MAYOR'S MENTORSHIP INITIATIVE

            Close your eyes.  Imagine that you are a French national and Founder and CEO of a software corporation headquartered in Saint-Herblain, France which provides products and services to medical professionals and biotechnology and pharmaceutical companies in three continents. Your company generates at least  $100,000,000,000 annually in revenues.   You are contemplating establishing a physical presence in the American marketplace by purchasing office space in the downtown business district of a northeastern city in the United States.  Three large world-class academic institutions reside in this northeastern city and are located just a “stone’s throw” away from the downtown business district which is where your company’s office will be located.  Townhouses and high-rise apartment buildings share the downtown landscape with multi-storied concrete and glass office towers which will make the commute to work easy for your employees.  If they choose to, they can walk to work!

            Now, your foray into the American marketplace by moving yourself and many of your employees into a brand new downtown office building located in this northeastern city is not just about expanding your company’s bottom line, enhancing its visual identity, and increasing its market share.   You want to contribute to the current and future growth of your new home by establishing technology hubs and developing human capital  in its middle neighborhoods.   It is a strategy that was quite successful in Saint-Herblain, France.  You have every confidence that employing this same strategy in the northeastern city which you, your company, and your employees plan to call home will create the ultimate “win-win” situation.  Yet, at the same time, you are very troubled about the news stories that are being brought to your attention about your new home -- disruptive and sometimes violent flash mobs descending on its downtown business district, its high recidivism rate, and high school students engaged in donnybrooks at public transportation stations – the same stations that some of your employees may use to commute to and from work.  Will one of your employees, through no fault of their own, find themselves in the middle of a violent flash mob or a youthful donnybrook?  If your new home is struggling with a high recidivism rate which, ultimately, reduces resources, will it have sufficient resources to allocate to your company – should the need arise?

            Do you hit the “pause” button and rethink your decision to move your company, yourself, and your employees to the northeastern city in question?  Or, although the risks are glaringly clear, do you move forward with your plans?  What should you do?

            The scenario I just created gives credence to a prevailing school of thought that disruptive and violent flash mobs which cause physical injuries to individuals and massive property damage to businesses; donnybrooks at public transportation stations; and a high recidivism rate are more than just mere public safety, parenting, and social policy issues or a “neighborhood problem” that is playing itself out “downtown”.   It is a scenario that negatively impacts the renewal of prosperity and economic sustainability of an entire city. 

            So, what is the answer?

            One solution lies in the implementation of the Mayor’s Mentorship Initiative, a  component of OPERATION FRESH START™ which is a multi-tiered blueprint for creating pathways to reintegration for formerly incarcerated Men and Women crafted by The Honorable James M. DeLeon, a highly respected and veteran jurist in the Criminal Court Division of Philadelphia’s Municipal Court.  It is a solution that helps to eradicate the rising recidivism rate of a city while simultaneously counseling and guiding “at risk” youths – a number of whom are participants in flash mobs and donnybrooks – all of which helps to free up the City’s resources – resources which can be allocated to attract and retain new businesses, repair a deteriorating infrastructure, improve public education, and reduce the tax burden of citizens. The Mayor’s Mentorship Initiative calls for nonviolent offenders to be fully vetted and trained as mentors by organizations that have a successful track record in mentorship training.  Immediately subsequent to successfully completing mentorship training, formerly incarcerated nonviolent offenders – Men and Women – will be employed as mentors to “at-risk” youth in communities throughout the City of Philadelphia. 

          Organizations providing mentorship training to formerly incarcerated Men and Women who are fully vetted nonviolent offenders and have successfully completed training, will also provide them with a counselor.  The same counselor will also be assigned to the family of “at-risk” youths – the mentees.  Mentors, counselors, and family members of the mentees would work together as a team.  At no time would mentors usurp the authority of the mentees’ parent(s) or legal guardian.   The Mentor’s primary and sole role is that of a counselor or guide to the mentee.   Further, the mentor will be required to communicate on a weekly basis with the counselor assigned to him or her and the mentee’s family. 

            Participants in the Mayor’s Mentorship Initiative will receive a review of any pardon or clemency request prior to its submission to ensure that it is accurate and that all factors are complete for consideration in Pardon and Clemency Applications.  Administration of The Mayor’s Mentorship Initiative would encompass the generation of a Letter of Understanding between the District Attorney’s Office and the Mayor’s Office laying out the benefits of the Initiative.  Simultaneously, a Letter of Initiative which explains the program will be generated and distributed to any crime victim with the understanding that the victim has the right to approve – in writing – the proposed Mentor’s participation in the Initiative.  Once the Mentor has successfully completed the Initiative, a letter will be generated to the Board of Pardons from the Mayor’s Office personally attesting to this fact.   An understanding will be established with the State Supreme Court that the Mentor is a participant in The Mayor’s Mentorship Initiative and a similar understanding will be established with the Governor’s Office.  A “Working Group” consisting of key stakeholders from diverse professional backgrounds stand ready to help implement The Mayor’s Mentorship Initiative by acting as a liaison between communities, organizations providing mentoring training, the Mayor’s Office, and formerly incarcerated individuals – nonviolent offenders -- who are candidates for the Initiative.

          Recurring flash mobs and donnybrooks cannot be “policed” away.  Criminalizing flash mobs and donnybrooks punish the wrongdoers but does not get at the root of the problem.  The root of the problem is a myriad of deeply embedded key challenges – key challenges that our city’s children and youth struggle with daily and for which they do not have proper coping skills.  Fully vetted formerly incarcerated nonviolent offenders who participate in the Mayor’s Mentorship Initiative can provide our children with the coping skills they need to address their key challenges.  It is a key “piece of the puzzle” to renewing prosperity and creating economic sustainability for everyone.

LOVE IS IT! : MR. CARRY GREAVES

Love is powerful! Love is secure within itself. Love never abandons. Love is the truth. Love is inextinguishable. Out of love comes peace and a life worth living. But love never dies. So the probability for love to grow increases exponentially when you love yourself more each day.

Love is to act and not to love is to surrender one’s life. There is no sedative for love but to continue to love from the heart. Again, love is powerful. Love is secure. So when you are loved, you become nourished. And when you love, you become the nourisher. You love, therefore, you live. And with love comes healing.

Love is the gateway to all possibilities. Love is freedom. But if you don’t know the value of love, you will wind up losing it. Love is the journey, not the end result. Love is the rhythm of the present. So sing your song. Dance your dance. To love, offsets the hate that surrounds you and allows you to see things for the way they are and not what they appear to be.

Love is creative. But without love, there is nothing. And the lack of love is darker than the deepest part of the ocean. Love lies in deeds. So be a woman and a man of action. Love never divides and conquers. Love unites. The heartbeat of love never stops beating or breathing. Love is the oxygen of the soul.

Love is the connection of hearts. Love makes you smile and happy. It makes you jump for joy. Jubilee! Love is Queen. Love is King. Love is supreme. But love and disrespect can never be friends. Mistreatment, pain, and violence nullify love.

Love is participation. Love is not a spectator. Love is the path. Love is the way. And yesterday came and went, and tomorrow hasn’t come yet. But Love is, was, and always will be. Love is supportive. Love is instrumental in bringing about the change that we desire and surely need. Love is gentle. So celebrate love. Get to know love. Open your heart to love. Give love. And don’t be afraid to love, because at the end of the day, love is the key.

Love is the very breath of life. Love gives comfort. Love can heal a broken heart – a broken spirit. Discover love and feel its power. Love will never misguide you. Love is like the Sphinx against the desert wind. But what can one do to attain love? Love thyself. One may teach you about the science of life, but no one can teach you about love. Love arises from within. Nurture it with gentleness. Water it with consistency and Love will flourish.

Love! Try it for once instead of wasting time and energy on hating. Feel the difference. See the difference. Become the person that someone wants to love. Give love, even if it’s not reciprocated. Grow into love. Grow with love. And you will say to yourself: “I never knew love like this before.”

__________

MR. CARRY GREAVES is the Empowerment Coordinator for International Men's Day, Chair - International Men's Day "Healing And Repatriation" Initiative, a Relationship and Self-Empowerment Guru, published free-lance journalist, poet, and Senior Contributing Editor to IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD(R).

THE EVIL OF GOODNESS: JEROME TEELUCKSINGH, Ph.D.

I am neither a theologian nor a philosopher but often wonder: What constitutes good and evil, positive or negative? What manner of persons would belong in these categories of moral and immoral? There is an obvious dichotomy and we live in a seemingly binary world but many do not acknowledge or are oblivious to the acceptance of the many shades of evil and goodness.

Should the State (government) decide what is right and wrong or should each citizen make that decision? Likewise, would a secular government possess the authority to eradicate or change religious practices or customs?

If the moral choice of an individual conflicts with that of the government, what should be the option or penalty? The individual’s freedom is important in a democracy and a democratically elected government also has a vital role.

In 2016, there were 462 murders in Trinidad and Tobago. This is a relatively high number in a small population of approximately 1.4 million persons. It is easy to argue that those who committed these acts would be labelled as “evil”. The debatable question is: Would those persons who did not act to prevent these murders be considered evil? Should the security forces (police and army) and the ruling government be considered evil because they did not provide sufficient security for citizens? Many citizens, who voted for the government, remained quiet and probably did not want to embarrass the politicians. Or maybe citizens had become complacent and grown accustomed to the regular reports of murders.

Those citizens, who read and heard the reports of heinous crimes, believed themselves to be law-abiding and good persons. Many (including myself) have a sense of goodness that we are living relatively decent lives. We can ignore the evil especially when it does not directly affect our lives. If someone is kidnapped or robbed, and not related to us or not within our circle of friends, then we can continue living (or surviving) without any sign of remorse or guilty conscience.

Is this phenomenon occurring in other countries across the globe? Yes, many of us remain in our comfort zones and do not want to publicly voice our displeasure or display any sign of discontent. Why? There is the fear of repercussions such as being jailed, victimized, killed, or the loss of a job. We want to remain within our safe comfort zones and certainly do not want to disturb the status quo. We met certain systems and ideologies and will leave this world without questioning or attempting to change these systems and ideologies. This is partly the reason why social problems as unemployment and poverty exist. We do not want to drastically disturb our environment or surroundings and appear different, confrontational, anti-government, radical, erratic, or odd.

Many of us continue our daily routine as if we are robots or remain silent as plants. An illustration is the manner in which we have dealt with traffic on the roadways. During rush hour, many sit in their vehicles and complain. But they would neither write to their political representative nor voice their opinion in a newspaper. Some vent their disgust in social media (Facebook, Twitter). They lose valuable time idling in traffic and do not make an effort to change the scenario. This is time that cannot be regained, it is gone and useless. The government either does not care or fails to realize the loss in human productivity. What is the lesson that is learned? It’s a simple lesson that is repeated -- we have learned to accept traffic as normal or congestion on the subway. Similarly, we have conditioned our minds to accept murders and serious crimes as normal and part of our existence.

However, we can accept limited changes in our lives. These include moving to a new apartment, making a new friend, marriage, death of a relative, migrating, travelling to a new country, divorce and obtaining a job. The reason that we accept and adapt to these changes is that we regularly witness or experience these changes.

What should be our stance on controversial issues such as abortion? Is there a right and wrong stance? For instance, a teenager who is raped and then becomes pregnant would want to have an abortion. Should the act of abortion, as a result of rape, be considered sinful or wrong? A woman who has a serious medical condition and her life is at risk or has a large family would consider abortion. Should she have control of her body to make the choice or should she be influenced or guided by government legislation or religious law? The use of marijuana would be considered wrong by some but some persons use medicinal purposes. There is a difference between recreational and medicinal purposes. Who is correct?

C.S. Lewis in “Mere Christianity” seems accurate in stating:   “We humans call one thing good and another thing bad. But according to some people that is merely our human point of view. These people would say that the wiser you become, the less you would want to call anything good or bad, and the more clearly you would see that everything is good in one way and bad in another, and that nothing could have been different.”
_________
JEROME TEELUCKSINGH, Ph.D. is the Founder of International Men's Day (www.imd-global.org),  a Gender Issues Thought Leader, faculty member in the History Department of the University of West Indies, prolific author, and Contributing Editor to IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD(R).