Skip to main content

LETTER TO A "FATHERLESS" DAUGHTER

 

What do I say to someone whose heart has been literally ripped out of the cavity of her chest? What can I say to ease the deep pain of a shattered heart -- a pain that reverberates through your soul -- a pain that greets you every morning when you wake up? The deep hurt that was inflicted upon you was unintentional. There are two people in pain. You and your Father. 

Every daughter wants and needs to hear their Father whisper, "I love you!" -- three words that affirm her. . . three words that tell her she matters. Had you heard those words from him during your journey from childhood to womanhood, it would have made a positive impact upon your life. Every Father wants to be in his daughter's life. The decisions and mistakes that your Father made robbed him of the chance to love and care for you. He is wrestling with the decisions and mistakes he made as a young man. He is wrestling with the fact that he was not there to hear you talk about your first day at school, to plan birthday parties for you and watch you blow out the candles on your birthday cakes, and to watch you blossom into the beautiful woman that have become. And yes, you are beautiful. Beauty is within, not without. Circumstances and decisions beyond your control and which you had nothing to do with, prevented him from telling you how much he loved you and from affirming you. 

But that was the past. Let's talk about NOW . . . TODAY. If you think your Father does not think about you ... does not love you . . . does not recognize your existence, you are wrong. I understand that you cannot see or believe this. Your Father loves you and cares about you deeply. And when he thinks and speaks about you, his eyes sparkle, and a smile illuminates his face. So, why doesn't he show it? Why does he act as if you don't exist? Why is he pushing you away? Because he does not know how to tell you that he loves you and cares about you deeply. Your Father wants to be a part of your life, he just does know how to do that. You will have to teach him how to do that. 

While you and your Father cannot change the past, the two of you can do something about the present and the future. I know that you are hurting, but you must find it within your heart to forgive him. Forgiveness is not about him, it is about YOU. Forgiveness is your path to healing . . . to fulfilling your destiny on this earth . . . and to being the vibrant, brilliant, and beautiful person that you truly are. Forgiveness is the path to helping your Father become a part of your life -- something that you desperately need and want. 

There is a void in your life and in your Father's life. He needs you just as much as you need him. Find him -- send him an e-mail, call him -- tell him that you forgive him . . . that you love him . . . that you need him . . . and that he needs you. If he does not answer, don't pull away. Continue to shower him with telephone calls, voice mail messages, text messages, e-mail messages, and TWEETs that tell him: "Dad, I forgive you. I love you. I need you. I am here for you."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

DRAWING A STRAIGHT LINE TO RECIDIVISM, SUSTAINABILITY, AND RENEWED PROSPERITY IN PHILADELPHIA

Heralded by many as the “Next Great American City”, the fifth largest metropolitan area in the United States, the City of Philadelphia is on the move.  Real estate developers are transforming an area between Market and Chestnut Streets spanning from 11th to 12th Streets once considered the epicenter of Philadelphia into East Market, a towering and expansive structure which will be home to residential units, restaurants, retail outlets, and office space. Looking westward, a cluster of gleaming glass and steel skyscrapers which rise above the end of the Walnut Street Bridge and which appear to obfuscate the line of demarcation between the City of Philadelphia’s downtown business district, University City, and the neighborhoods surrounding Drexel University and the University of Pennsylvania come into view .. These developments are helping to create excitement about Philadelphia. Despite the perceived “renewed prosperity” of Philadelphia’s downtown business district an…

MEN'S HEALTH ADVOCATE, MUSIC PRODUCER, ARRANGER, SONGWRITER AND SINGER MR. GREG BEST TO SPEAK AT THIRD ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER FOR MEN AND BOYS TELECONFERENCE 6 NOVEMBER 2016

The USA International Men’s Day Team has disclosed that Men’s Mental Health Advocate, arranger, music producer, songwriter and singer Mr. Greg Best will be featured as a speaker at the Third Annual International Day of Prayer for Men and Boys’ Teleconference on Sunday, 6 November 2016 beginning at 10:00 A.M. (E.D.T.). “Voices Of Our Fathers” is the theme for the Third Annual International Day of Prayer for Men and Boys’ Teleconference which leads up to the United States’ observance of 2016 International Men’s Day (www.imd-global.org) on Saturday, 19 November 2016. The general public is encouraged to join Mr. Best in the teleconference by dialing the following conference call number: 712-775-7031 and access code: 803 828. To register for the Third Annual International Day of Prayer for Men and Boys Teleconference and to learn more about the event, please visit the following website: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/third-annual-international-day-of-prayer-for-men-and-boys-nat…

SEEING INVISIBLE MEN AND BOYS: JEROME TEELUCKSINGH, Ph.D.

On 19 November 2015, a panel discussion was held at the Student Activity Center at The University of the West Indies, in Trinidad and Tobago (in the Caribbean). It was spearheaded by an undergraduate female student, Ms. Michelle Roopnarine, and featured Dr. John Gedeon of the University's Office of Planning and Development; Ramia Coleman, the Chairman of the all-male Hall of Residence on campus; and Jonathan St. Louis-Nahous, the Guild of Students' Representative for Part-time and Evening Students. The panel successfully generated some interest and lively discussion among a cross-section of students on campus and across faculties. During the past five years, similar small scale observances have been held on campus. Despite this recognition many students and members of the public are still unaware of the existence of International Men’s Day.
From 1999, International Men’s Day was tailored and revamped to continue building the global Men’s Movement and promote an ideology that…