IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD(R) facilitates a Global Dialogue on Fatherhood and Men's Issues which explores and addresses key challenges -- mental and physical health, real-life options, poverty, hunger, homelessness, Fatherlessness, parental alienation, mass incarceration, religious and ethnic intolerance -- which prevent Men and Boys from living healthier, purpose-driven, and longer lives.
07 May, 2012
SPEAKING TO OUR SONS
I met a young man this morning. He is someone's son and a member of
the Next Generation of Husbands, Fathers, and Leaders. Although he is
someone's son -- he is really OUR son -- OUR future -- OUR bridge to the future. So, how did I meet this young man and what is this story
all about? It was a chance meeting. Had I left home earlier and caught an earlier bus, our paths would not have crossed. We disembarked from the bus at the same stop. .I got up from my seat and as I exited the bus, I heard footsteps behind me. So, I casually looked to the side so I could see who was walking behind me. It was a
young man, about 5' 7", wearing a hoodie with a backpack strapped to
his back. There is a charter school about one block away. So, he was
on his way to school. For some reason, we both found ourselves
waiting at the corner for the red light to change to green. There we
were standing side by side.
I turned to the young man and said, "Have a good day at school."
He turned around and flashed a big smile and responded, "Thank you."
"So, what grade are you in?" I asked as we walked across the street.
"Twelfth," he said proudly as his chocolate brown eyes sparkled.
"So, you're going to graduate from high school this year," I responded.
"Yes," the young man said as he looked at me with eyes that sparkled
and a smile that illuminated his face.
"So, are you going to college?" I asked.
He hesitated for a moment and then said, "Well, yeah, I mean, I'm trying to."
"Take care," I said as I smiled warmly.
We both went in different directions. He was off to start a new day
and a new week at school.
The most striking thing to me -- and what I will remember most from
the very brief conversation that I had with this young man -- is his
reaction to someone -- an adult -- speaking to him. An adult who
acknowledged his presence. This young man who is not only someone's
son . .. but our son . . . wants and needs affirmation.
I learned a valuable lesson from this young man.
What did I learn?
How vulnerable our sons really are and why it is so very very
necessary that we begin "speaking to OUR sons" -- the young men that
we encounter as we go about our daily routine. ."Speaking to OUR
sons" is simple. It can come in the form of a simple "Good Morning"
or "Hello, young man".
We must start "speaking to our sons" with words of caring, love, and
affirmation. We need to take a minute to step out of our world and
into the world of OUR sons.
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