A FATHER'S LAMENT: RUSSELL WM. SELBY

i never had the chance to explain myself, Son.
I never knew where to start from exactly.
You never gave me the chance to find a point of beginning.
You never knew how tormented my soul had become.
I never had the chance to show you what you meant to me.
I never knew where to avoid the walls you put up.
You never gave me the chance to become the Father that you sought, and I wanted to be.
You never knew how to allow me time to reconcile.
I never had the chance to try to close the gap between us.
You never gave me the chance to repair the damaged foundation.
You never knew how to consider the pain of my existence -- without you.
I never had the chance to understand your choice of estrangement.
I never knew where to place your opinion of me.
You never gave me the chance to really know what was in the back of your mind.
You never knew how to really forgive me for the hardships you endured -- without me.
I never had the chance to tell you how sorry I really was, for leaving you.
I never knew where to set aside my shame for failure, as a Father towards you.
You never gave me the chance to even get close enough, to begin the healing.
You never knew how, to accept and experience the sincerity of my love for you.
I never had the chance . . .
I never knew where . . .
You never knew how . . .
There's still a chance for us, My Son --
I'm still alive -- and I'm here for you.
There's still time to reconcile, My Son --
I can still -- discernibly teach you.
The things you only thought you knew
about Life.