13 June, 2009


As I look around, our society is forever changing but in one aspect the fact still remains: "Where is Daddy?" In many households there are many idiosyncrasies of missing fathers.

This situation has caused a gaping hole in the family structure as women are forced to become mothers and fathers to children who are struggling knowing that Daddy isn't here or to raise the scale. Who is Daddy, anyway?

It's a shame, but for some, Fatherhood isn't taken seriously enough as it only is a title. Although is it a deserved entitlement? Children are thrusted into life with the added growing pain of being alone and perplexed as it's hard enough at times just being a child without the added complexity of feeling abandoned or even at fault.

Fathers have to stop placing blame where it doesn't fall and look at themselves before even trying to analyze and dissect their disappearing acts and misinterpretation of actual fatherhood. Who am I to place blame myself as I had fallen into the delusion that it wasn't me but the circumstances and the people surrounding me. No! Not me!! This feeling is a temporary fix with the euphoric after effect of knowing that something isn't right and asking yourself: "Why have I made this decision to leave loved ones behind no matter the consequences?" Wake Up! But for some this dream is a reality.

Our children deserve to be embraced by their mothers and fathers emotionally, spiritually,mentally and physically. But for some this is very hard to do because it wasn't done in their household or social environment. Thus, the more reason to express these attributes. I'm guilty as well, because at times I find it difficult which is puzzling especially since my wife and soulmate exudes all of the aforementioned without hesitation while I stand in the background waiting for acceptance in other frivolous areas which does not really emit the warmth of Fatherhood. At times I wonder if I'm afraid, envious, or stuck in a time warp -- a time when men didn't show too much emotion or any emotional connections. I want to, so I ask myself continually what's holding me back? Times have changed, we need to as Fathers as well.

This is a dilemma that we as men must take by the bootstraps as our childern need us to be there by not just standing around but by being around standing for what Fatherhood truly means: Forever, Always, There, Helping, Encouraging, Remembering.

Fatherhood is only as hard as we make it, but for some of us who are short-changing our children as their questions will fill a lifetme of desolate pain if we don't come to the forefront and change for the betterment of our children and familes. Yes! We Can! or No! We Can't! which will you choose?

As I close, the worst feeling of being a Father is not being there or being there and not really being committed as we can't turn back the hands of time or even walk in our children's shoes. Time waits for no one, but we can make the time to rebuild our relationships by walking together for a lifetime, knowing and conveying the real meaning and sense of Fatherhood.

Encouraging and Remembering.

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