30 October, 2007


As stated in the Universal Culture of Fatherhood, “Free will provides the foundation upon which the natural condition of Mankind rests. This freedom of will insured his/her individuality and supports his/her ability to find hope in even the direst of circumstances. Thus it can also be said that a major component of “Free Will” must include having the ability to choose. Without this option of choice, “Free Will” cannot exist. Furthermore, having the choice between two negative consequences is no choice either, since it is generally understood that two negatives cancel each other out. Therefore, it may be said that in the final analysis, if the choices that present themselves are only those predetermined by outside circumstance or compromise, not “Free Will,” then you are not engaged in “Free Will,” and you might choose to reexamine your personal interpretation of the Universal Culture of Fatherhood.

“Free Will” also means action. Because you possess it, you as an individual must choose desirable consequences and act deliberately upon your environment to bring about those desired choices into real change. Usually experience is used to buffer action with consequences so that consistency and fairness are steadfast components of Free Will. Deliberate action which purposely restricts the expressions of freedoms of another also restricts and curtails our own ability to express “Free Will.” To insure our own right to express our own will, we must be careful not to deliberately violate the rights of others. To do so sets into motion the Law of Consequences inside the Laws of Nature, which are bound together and must seek balance or justice. The Universal Culture of Fatherhood seeks to guarantee that not only are “all men/women created equal,” but that the lives and pursuits of all men/women are to be respected and valued as equal.

This may pose a dilemma for us as parents. Parents have been entrusted with the responsibility of providing safety, stability and guidance to those who are in their youth and are unaware of the lessons experience has to teach them. Those children are as yet driven by hungers, thirsts and unnamed emotional desires common to the human condition. These states of the human condition are multiple and various and are usually the teachings of tradition and culture, but may only be echoes of the person’s past as well as misleading fears of the future. Roles are assigned at very early ages and the diversity found in nature only confounds and confuses some persons who find themselves miscast in those roles. Some are unfortunate enough to think in terms of stereotypes and wonder all their lives why other types of people don’t know their lines. We must teach ourselves, our young and others that they and we are a collection of unique individuals who make up humankind as a group and that collectively the group is made up of unique individuals. Each individual being is as special and as unique as Alaskan snowflakes. In the Universal Culture of Fatherhood one may begin to understand the depth and complexities involved in interacting as parents, as adults, and as people who are themselves bound by the Law of Consequences and individuality.

To say that in order to fulfill our mandate as parents we must sometimes make the sacrifice of delaying our own gratification as an example to the children in our care would be an understatement. Yet the truth remains that self-sacrifice is a necessary ingredient to parenting. Self-sacrifice becomes of primary importance to us as guiding adults whose influences are repeatedly used in an attempt to reinforce that primary message of self-control. We must begin to accept and try to understand the vast potential for complex and involved communication between us as guardians and those we wish to guide. We must communicate clearly to those we wish to share with. We must confess with humility that we have no crystal ball, nor are we in a perfect world where everything is predictable and without surprise. We must overcome any awkwardness at revealing ourselves to those young people and instead create an opportunity for dialogue, trusting that having done all we are able to do, our young will choose to explore the depth and breadth of their being and go in wonder at the beauty they find. We must seek to instill in them and in ourselves that in many ways we are the captains or our own destiny. And that “a problem is only a lesson in disguise.” That as soon as you discover the answer to the problem, it is yours to do with what you will. Somehow we must try to impart the understanding that the life force which runs through every tangible thing under the sun also runs through us and is our friend. We must convince them to dare to dream of good things, loving things, those things that invite loving kindness and tolerance. Things that promote confidence, trust and a sense of worthwhile purpose.

We must keep talking with them, sharing our insights along the way – never forgetting to encourage dialogue. We must acknowledge that immediate gratification was the rule for us as we began to mature into our physical bodies. It becomes critical to adjusted understanding that we admit to the follies of our youth, and perhaps acknowledge to ourselves that as we matured into adulthood, so did our propensity for immediate gratification. Some of us wanted what we wanted when we wanted it. We must acknowledge to ourselves that allowing the principle of immediate gratification to run amuck and unchallenged was counterproductive in terms of our future hopes and dreams.

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