28 March, 2011

A very wise man once said, “You can do all of the rights things and still come up wrong!” It is a sentiment echoed by many Men who value their important roles as Husbands and Fathers as they consistently make selfless sacrifices to develop and implement plans to move their families forward and positively shape the minds and souls of their children, but discover that “doing all of the right things” does not keep them out of Divorce Court and “knock-down-drag-out” custody battles. According to Joseph Cordell, Esquire, Men who are “doing all of the right things” as Husbands and Fathers yet find themselves blindsided by their wives’ groundless request for divorce, are making critical mistakes that can cost them joint or full custody of their children and financial solvency. Attorney Cordell identifies these critical mistakes in his groundbreaking book, The 10 Stupidest Mistakes That Men Make When Facing Divorce And How To Avoid Them, which is destined to become a national best seller. So, what are these critical mistakes?

1. Moving Out

2. Choosing The wrong Lawyer

3. Waiting For Your Wife To File

4. Concealing Information From Your Lawyer

5. Neglecting The Children

6. Doing A Sloppy Job On Financial Records

7. Talking Too Much – Especially To Your Wife

8. Revealing Too Much On The Internet

9. Failing To Fully Engage In Your Case

10. Being Ill-Prepared For Testimony and Interviews

Cordell, who in 1980, co-founded with his wife Yvonne, one of America’s prominent and largest “father-friendly” divorce law firms – Cordell & Cordell, P.C. ( -- knows what he is talking about. Approximately 98% of Cordell & Cordell, P.C.’s clients are men!

When men learn that their wives want to end the marriage, their first response is to pack a suitcase and exit the home. Mr. Cordell urges Men not to move out of their home. Cordell says that Men who leave their homes when their wives announce that the marriage is over, are making a very critical mistake that will come back to haunt them during child custody and divorce proceedings. On pages 11-24 of The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce And How To Avoid Them, Attorney Cordell has this to say:

“ . . . It’s understandable that a man would want to avoid conflict and protect his kids from seeing their parents fighting. Those are admirable reasons for leaving. But it sends the wrong message, and what seems like a short-term situation to avoid conflict and make the breakup go smoothly can actually result in long-range problems and give the man a very rough ride when it comes to the details of the divorce. Instead of leaving, propose reasonable rules to continue cohabitating with minimum conflict. If she is adamant, propose a timetable that allows for an orderly evaluation of any transition. And always get to a lawyer immediately, preferably before you pack that bag. There are a number of reasons that men should not move out. Most important is that staying in the family home allows the father to stay fully involved with his children during the divorce proceedings. We hear it all the time. In one breath, dads tell us, ‘I’ve moved out’. In the next breath they say, ‘I want custody of my kids.’ At that point we have to advise our clients that having moved out, they may have limited the available strategies and increased the necessary effort and expense in pursuing custody. The divorce process can take time, especially when custody is an issue. If the father has moved out he may be portrayed as an ‘absentee father’ or has having ‘moved on’ without his children.”

Cordell, in The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce And How To Avoid Them, urges Men to initiate divorce proceedings even though they are not the ones asking for an end to the marriage. He offers suggestions on how to select the right lawyer for the divorce proceeding. And he also urges Men to, among other things, be totally honest with their lawyers about everything that is or could conceivably be important to their case, including “bankruptcies, criminal charges, lawsuits, or published incidents”; to continue to stay involved in their children’s lives; and to keep good financial records.

Divorce can be a gut-wrenching, emotionally devastating, and alienating experience. For Men whose hopes and dreams have been shattered by divorce, Joseph Cordell, Esquire’s book, The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce And How To Avoid Them serves as a much needed “bridge over troubled waters”.


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